Fertility & Babies Before 30.

I’ve been thinking about my fertility since I was 21, ever since I sat in that doctors office and heard “babies before 30”.

That’s ages away I thought consciously. I need everything to happen before I’m 30 I imprinted subconsciously.

My inner perfectionist went wild.

I had a plan. I’d have figured out my career, be married, have enough money (I mean what even is that?!), and bought a house in the countryside. All so I would be ready to have BABIES. All BEFORE I was 30. Because if I didn’t it would all be too late. It had to be perfect. Jeez… the pressure I put on myself.

Have I achieved (any of) that? Nope. Close? Nope. Still a goal? Nope. Why? Because that’s not the way it unfolds (thank god hey!). Aye, life’s a game and we can manifest the best life but it’s not a google map.

Sometimes what we want isn’t always what we need. What we need isn’t always what we want.

Here’s the thing. having endometriosis, or any gynae condition for that matter, forces you to think about fertility way in advance. It sent me into panic mode. It’s a far cry from what we’re taught when we’re younger. Like it’s so easy to get pregnant that it could literally happen just by looking at a penis.

In a couple of weeks I’ll be going in for my third surgery for endometriosis. I feel lucky that my symptoms are so much more relaxed these days bar the growth of a cyst that is pulling so much on my left ovary it could cause some permanent damage. Adding to that it’s being drained rather than excised because with stage 4 and severe adhesions it’s a complicated and delicate jungle, symptoms or no symptoms.

Decisions I’ve made so once a little poppet or poppetito want to come and join us in this life one day, they’ll have the best chance they can to.

So my thoughts on babies before 30? (that line most doctors love to bust out in an Endo appointment 😳🙄). I say… Scrap the plans. Scrap the pressure. Scrap the panic. Annnd TRUST. Trust that you are on a journey of learning and growing whatever or wherever that leads to.

There’s no such thing as a “perfect planned life”.

📸: @tinamariaelena

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